The Bowlers’ Beer Check

I haven't been bowling since like 2002, but yes, you go bowling with the guys, this is a real thing. 
PS: Sorry I couldn't find a better rhyme for 'Beer," but believe me - that is what we'll say.


The Bowlers’ Beer Check

At our local bowling alley
  All us real man drink beer!
And if it isn’t Budweiser,
  We'll all surely call you queer

    (Hey, don’t call me Shirley!)

‘Course all those bottles of beer,
  Each with the exact same label,
Make it hard to find your own,
  That is, assuming you are able

    (Guy, yuh hammuhd!)

So a man will scratch his nail
  In the wet condensated paper
There to make his mark, his nick,
  His check, his label shaper

    ("That’s my nick,"… "That’s my mark,"      
      … "That’s my, what the fuck?")

But me, I got a better plan
  To locate the beer I’ll pull,
I always look the table over,
  And then, there… see?
    That’s mine, the one that’s full!