Thespian, the Cat who Broke A Leg

Thespian, the Cat who Broke A Leg

“What’s that walking on the stage,
 No cat is mentioned on this page
   Within the scene or dialogue…?”

“Ok, no, that’s Thespian, the backstage cat,
 He knows better than doing that,
 Stage hand,
   Please catch him he’s not auditioning today”

“No, wait! He’s perfect!  …
 Did he bring a headshot? Who’s his agent?”

“As I said he’s the playhouse cat,
Don’t know if he’s pedigree or stray …
  He’s been with our company for several seasons

Despite the frequent legs he’s broken
He’s our cast’s beloved luck token
  To stage-fraught actors’ needing comfort”

(con't after/below picture)

“What’s he known for?”

“Mostly, breaking into dressing rooms with serio-comic timing,
To oaths half-dressed starlets scream that defy ludic rhyming,
Of course, his ‘breaking’ here refers to the curtain
  - breaking a leg - wandering on from the side of the stage

Yet during a show when he’s walked out on stage
The audience at once engages
  So many times he’s stole the play

And Thespian here’s upstaged both Olivier, and Burton,
Only to find on the stage are no vermin,
Next then to strut off with uproarious applause
  While he kicks his back toes, mocking scratching dirt paws"

“But, can he act?”

“He’s a well trained cat of the actors studio,
Always in cat character, you know, when on or off of the stage,
Although he’s method trained he will imploy questionable choices
  Such as howling too much, plays death scenes in odd voices

He’s been known to pounce on ingenue’s feathered hats,
He’s oft’ stalked our prop birds, sprayed on gentlemen’s spats,
He can sneak through a birdcage, playing thin on demand,
Despite that his frame’s Orson Welles-ishly grand”

“Has he been employed on stage purposely?”

“One of Thespians’ jobs was that he was the answer
To an issue of concern for our fragile soft-shoe dancers,
If a dancer, dancing backwards, was to collide with the proscenium,
It was Thespian’s job to jump out in between him,
  and it,  bodily, though despite being squooshed,
To protect those delicate dancer bums”

“How is he, with the ladies?”

“When our fair lady cat showed up for the show,
Thespian loudly meowed, then began to howl low,
So we brought him to the vet to have him, well, ‘fixed,’
  Except there we were told our cat was not a Tom,
But that Thespian, was a lesbian …
  Our diva drama Cat”

“Ok, he’s hired!”
“No, she, sir …”