I Knew A Man with Dish Pan Hands

This is certainly nonsense, But as I spent an afternoon hashing it out it just HAD to be typed up, and now YOU HAVE TO READ IT!
And if, after reading this. it still seems like nonsense, well, that’s your problem.

I Knew A Man with Dish Pan Hands 
     (for Keith Knapp)

I knew a man with dish pan hands
  Who travelled here from Turkistan.
You say a man from Turkistan
  Can here with dish pan hands?
That’s what I understand.

Why did this man from Turkistan
  Come here with dish pan hands?
To work upon the land.
This man with dish pan hands came here
  To work upon the land?
That’s what I understand.

What means had he, this man came here,
  With dish pan hands from Turkistan?
A legacy of a demand.
A legacy from a demand?
That’s what I understand.

What plans had he, this man who came
  From Turkistan, with dish pan hands,
  The heir to an estate demand,
  Who came to work the land?
He had great plans this curious man
  Who came to work the land,
  From Turkistan, with dish pan hands
  Or so I understand.

Explain what came of his great plans
  This man who came from Turkistan
  And on and on and and and and….
  That I may understand.
He tried and failed to work the land,
  This man who came from Turkistan,
  The heir to an estate demand
  And on and on and and and and…
  And so, you understand?

How failed he, to work the land,
  This man who came from Turkistan,
  This heir to an estate demand,
  And on and on and and and and…
He failed to work the land, this man
  From Turkistan, despite his plan,
  And on and on and and and and…
  For when he took the plow in hand,
  He found the plow he could not man.
  He could not man the plow this man,
  That’s what I understand.

Why not?
'Cause as I’ve said, and on and and…
  This man had dish pan hands.

Shadow Tricks

Special, a new post for anyone who's just received their JKB Newsletter,
And a gracious shout out to all you Skidmore Theater geeks, whomever you is;


Shadow Tricks

My Shadow tricks in puckish fun
When we play out in the brightest sun
At work, at play, even Sunset
His mocking me is not done yet

My Shadow is phobic with doors
For crossing them he just abhors
When I go in, him I won’t see
He pouts outdoors, and vexes me

At night, from on the welcome mat
I’ll call to him, like he’s a cat
By star or moon he’ll glow and fade
About the yard, wisps of night shade

But most nights he is never seen
And I do not know where he’s been
Yet when by bed I turn my lamp
Then there he is, that gibeling scamp!

My shadow’s first crawled into bed
Before me, now, still as the dead
My Shadow Imp! Where have you been?
Damn Shadow Imp! Who let you in?

Mother’s Day, (or A Poem only a Man Could Write)

Spent the afternoon reading Shel Silverstein.
I know it needs a re-write, but today is the day... !


Mother’s Day, (or A Poem only a Man Could Write)

Some think that Mother’s day is for
Their sweet ol’ Mum to take a rest
But actually it is really meant
To put you children to the test

Can you make breakfast early?
Can you wash all these clothes?
Can you wrap Mama’s present
In bright paper and bows?

Can you reserve a table
For a family of six
And then when it’s time
For the bill, pay the checks?

Mom’s don’t rest on their day
They just think of the toil,
And all of the things that
You’ll probably spoil

It's not if you’re able
To succeed or to fail
It’s more sort of Mom’s way
Of on the job training

You see, Mothers’ don’t rest
When it’s their special day
They’re attentively watching
As you take the Mom test

For all Mothers’ know
That time will have it’s way
And that they will all be
A Grandmother someday

And when you test your kids,
Then you’ll love Mother best.