De Idefiance Lex Parsimoniae

If I have to name it as a style, I'll call it "Poetic a' Capriccio," which means simply "let's have fun with the meter and form." Also, helping out at Church can yield inspirations unintended.


De Idefiance Lex Parsimoniae
After Mass on Sunday morn
The "Building Committee," or Jon,
Addressed me with concern

"Can you help?"
"What’s gone wrong now?"

"Though it really shouldn’t oughta’
With a new roof on the tower
We have new ways it leaks water
Cause of last nights heavy shower."

Next we tread down in the basement
To a storage room unlatched
Where folding chairs and lumber scraps
Hid a mildewed carpet patch 

I tapped my toe upon it,
"Pish pish pish" grouched back the damp
In a further test I pressed down firm,
Left a whitish dry shoe Stamp

"Is it wet?"
"Look, my foot print’s filling fast."

Him again;
"Underneath this cement stair step
Is a steam pipe I think leaks,
I sure it is from a crack in here
From which this water sneaks."

"Looks dry to me."

"Tuesday, I’ve called a plumber in
To fix an upstairs sink
I’m sure that while he’s here he will,
Confirm it’s what I think."

That step rose to a door, which stuck
And cracked loud when it opened,
Which to my consternation hid
A crypt of desolation

Me;
"Does Dracula in sleep here?"

Stone dust and broken sheet rock planks
Shared my attention with the smell
Of seeping caverrns subterrean
And musty unctions dank 

"We’re under the tower?"
"Those are the steps up to the tower"
"Look at all this water, it’s seeping in through all the stone. It’s a wonder you don’t have stalagtites grown in here. Is it always like this?
"Always when it rains."

To me, the fact of his presumption
Defied an obvious assumption,
I saw that what one can’t debate
Just simply, clearly, I should state

"Take the junk to the dump
Drill a hole for a sump."

But his answer was a stunner,
"Easier, I’ve called the plumber."